Thursday, December 31, 2015

Happy New Year!

Well, 2016 is here at last. Where did 2015 go? Seriously, yesterday was Halloween, right?

What a year.

More importantly, the Sherlock special airs today. Everyone around me is probably in some area between, 'oh, good, she'll shut up now' and 'oh, fuck, now she'll start demanding series four incessantly'. Sorry, family.



But not sorry enough to shut up! :D

Well, in honor of the new year, it is time to announce the next book. (Is it the sixth already? Wow.)

Drumroll, please...

November Hotel.

That's right! An early draft is available on Wattpad, but come January 19th (because I can remember that date), it will be deleted.

Ghosts await. But never mind that, Sherlock in the deerstalker comes much sooner.

-Lalla

Saturday, December 19, 2015

Ask not for whom the Shuck barks. It barks for thee.

And now, ladies and gentlemen, the grand finale of the lot-The House on the Moor is free on Kindle (where else would it be, really?) from today until December 23rd. http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0091XZ4TO?keywords=lalla%20squeglia&qid=1450532882&ref_=sr_1_4&sr=8-4

-Lalla

Sunday, December 13, 2015

Maze

Well, the bird has left the lights alone. For now...maybe he's planning another attack, gathering his forces or whatever. Bring it on, little bird. Bring. It. ON.

Bird aside, The Maze is free on Kindle from today to December 17th, so go grab a copy. No holiday cheer to be found, if you're burnt out...

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00EPG45M4?keywords=lalla%20squeglia&qid=1450015604&ref_=sr_1_4&sr=8-4

-Lalla

Thursday, December 10, 2015

A Tale of Lighting Woes

Ah, the Christmas lights. I've mentioned before that my yard...well, you can see it from a ways away. It's one of those. And, seeing as I live in Arizona, we have saguaros in it. For those that don't know, they're these (picture not mine):



Tall, prickly, and looking good when wrapped up in lights. We have one in the front that, this year, is wrapped in red. And for some strange reason, one section about...see the tall arm on the right of this picture? About there...a section about there keeps going out. A fairly large section-two, three wraps around. And it's a pain to get out the ladder and go up there and fix it. Especially because the problem is that the bulbs are falling out. Seriously, they're turning up on the ground. Just three, only ever three.

Two, three nights this goes on. We find them, put them back, the next night they're out again. Loose sockets? Dunno.

But today...today we know. Because today, in addition to last night's unreplaced bulbs, we find three more. And we remember that a woodpecker lives in this particular saguaro.

We look, and sure enough, one of the out bulbs is in front of the hole it's made to get in.

This has never happened before, and these babies have been getting wrapped-and inhabited by birds-for over ten years. Maybe this one's new? Maybe we ticked it off? Or maybe it's like that 'Chicken Roaster' episode of Seinfeld. You know, this one (picture also not mine):



We may never know. We moved the strand and adjusted the bulb by the hole. One bulb, though, never did turn up. I maintain the bird took it and kept it as a trophy of its presumed victory.

Guess we'll find out tomorrow if the bird approves of the new arrangement...

-Lalla

Monday, December 7, 2015

Muse

I tried to think of a stupid pun, but Layne wouldn't let me use any of the ones I came up with. :(

Yeah, The Muse begins its free period today-it'll be free until December 11th.
It's here: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00MY6Q5M0?keywords=lalla%20squeglia&qid=1449496701&ref_=sr_1_2&sr=8-2

Also, Happy Hanukkah to those who celebrate!

-Lalla

Saturday, December 5, 2015

Merry Grinchmas

Maybe it's because I have noisy neighbors too, but I always felt kinda bad for the Grinch.

Really. Make no mistake, my house looks like the house in Christmas Vacation. It flashes. You can see it from the end of the street. (Yeah, we're those people. Don't kill me.) BUT it's quiet. We turn it off at ten or so. And did I mention it's quiet?

The Grinch doesn't have me as a neighbor. He has neighbors who make such a racket that he gets a headache from the noise...10,000 feet up. Every year. For 53 years. And who's to say the Whos don't take any excuse for a party, y'know? What are they like on Who Independence Day? Or birthdays? Maybe Christmas is just the easy target, and they're noisy neighbors year-round.

My neighbors are noisy. Not so much now, but for a while they were having drunken sing-alongs in the front yard at like, midnight. On a weeknight. (I wouldn't have minded a Grinch-ly visitor to take their booze! :p)

So I get it. I so get it. Okay, so it might have been an overreaction to steal people's presents and food and stuff, but...even the most tolerant neighbor is going to snap if y'all insist on being so freaking loud. Shut up, for heaven's sake!

(And the Grinch has sewing skills, people. No pattern+red curtain+2 seconds of snip-snip=perfect Santa suit. I'm impressed.)

-Lalla

Tuesday, December 1, 2015

Saturday, November 28, 2015

Holiday Joy

Thanksgiving's come and gone (who had pie?), and now it's time for more freebies.

First up is One Sunny Afternoon, which will be free from December 1st (THIS TUESDAY! :D) to December 5th.

Then comes The Muse, which is free from December 7th to December 11th.

Finally it's The Maze, which is free from December 13th to December 17th.

Tell your friends. Tell your grandmother. Also, when those are all done, the title for the next one will be made public. (I'm excited. Don't let me be an excited dork by myself.)

-Lalla

Sunday, November 15, 2015

Outtake

On one hand, this is made of adorable. (Which is why it didn't make it into The House on the Moor.) On the other hand, poor, poor Abigail. It must suck to know the guy you think is a murderer can pick you up. There go your hopes of, 'well, if he tries to stab me I can totally overpower him'.
* * *

She’d lost track of time-staring at the scenery would do that-when she became conscious of a warm weight on her shoulder.

“Nathan?”

Don’t be dead, don’t be dead…

No, just asleep. He’d been quiet, but…never mind. It had been a busy day.

She ought to move him, really. But they couldn’t be that far from home…she’d just leave him there. If she was being honest, she didn’t have the heart to move him.

She did make herself a little more comfortable, at least, before going back to looking out the window. He didn’t wake and she found herself checking every so often that he really was still asleep.

At one point he shivered and nestled up against her side. She reached over for the mack kept in here for sudden downpours and tucked it around him.

“’bigail?”

“Go back to sleep, we’re a ways out yet.”

“Thanks.”

“Shh.”

He sighed and said nothing else. She wasn’t sure he’d been awake at all, really.

She leaned against the window and took no small pleasure in being warm for the first time since they’d gone out. He didn’t move other than to burrow under the coat, one hand creeping up to hold it closed around his neck.

She’d close her eyes for a minute, she decided. Just for a minute…
* * *
She woke, a little, to Nathan’s voice.

“I’ll take her up to her room. Good night, Palmer.”

“Good night, sair.”

What? What was he talking about? Were they back already?

“Abigail.” She was awake, just give her a minute… “Come on.”

Before she could gather her wits enough to protest, he’d picked her up. No. No, she could walk, just give her a minute to wake up proper!

“C’n walk…”

“I doubt that very much.” She squirmed-well, twitched, anyway. “Don’t do that, you might find yourself dropped.”

Good. Dropped was better than carried.

“Down.” Lord, why wasn’t she waking up?

“In a minute.” Soon enough, he set her down on what she vaguely recognised as her bed. “There you go. Good night, Abigail.”

“Nathan?”

But he was already gone, door closing softly behind him. Well. If she wasn’t becoming aware of a dry mouth, she’d have thought she dreamt the whole thing. Stranger things had happened, but not many.

Tuesday, November 3, 2015

Winter





Pretty much. Unless you are a relative (that I know and like, not some distant one I see once every four years) or a dear friend that I never see, no hugs for you.

I hate hugs.

There. I said it.

I don't know why. I'm not traumatized or anything. My childhood was great. I just...I hate hugs. The closeness. The touching. Often, the smell of perfume/cologne. And, in recent times, this odd trend of 'hugging everyone, even if this is the first time you've met'. Seriously, what's that? What happened to the handshake? Or a little bow? That's kinda charming. (No hand-kissing, please, everyone I've known who tried to pull that off made it creepy and weird.) No. It's 'hug' now. Hug or nothing.

But now! Now it is winter (sort of), and winter means flu season. And, more importantly, winter means ways to avoid hugs from strangers. (Family doesn't care. Family just descends on you like hug-vampires and you have to shut up and accept it.)

I love winter. Winter clothes (so soft...), cold nights with coffee with Bailey's in it (that mint kind...*swoons*)...everything. Because it doesn't snow here. If I lived in snow-land I'd probably hate it.

You know what else is great about winter? No hugging. Well, less hugging among casual acquaintances, anyway. Either you run into them while shopping, which means that one or both of you has full hands, or you can claim, 'yeah, scratchy throat, better not'. Because nobody wants the flu.

-Lalla

Sunday, October 18, 2015

Ladies and Gentlemen

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, at long last it's the one you've all been waiting for! The House on the Moor is free on Kindle from today to Thursday, October 22nd. Get it here: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0091XZ4TO?keywords=the%20house%20on%20the%20moor&qid=1445175602&ref_=sr_1_6&sr=8-6

Enjoy!

-Lalla

Monday, October 12, 2015

Free Book

Moving right along on our 'free book bonanza' (I'm rolling with that, it's catchy!), The Maze begins its free period today. So from now until October 16th, you can grab a copy from this link: http://www.amazon.com/Maze-Ravens-Curse-Book-ebook/dp/B00EPG45M4/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1444656891&sr=8-3&keywords=lalla+squeglia

-Lalla

Tuesday, October 6, 2015

Tah-Dah!

The Muse begins its free period today, so go pick up a copy! It will be free until Saturday, October 10th.

http://www.amazon.com/Muse-Lalla-Squeglia-ebook/dp/B00MY6Q5M0/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1444137623&sr=8-2&keywords=lalla+squeglia

OH! Apparently a woman had a spider crawl inside her ear and try to spin a web there. Brr. I'll admit, that article made me very itchy. And horrified. But mostly itchy.

-Lalla

Wednesday, September 30, 2015

So It Begins

It is becoming a hardship to find titles expressing that there are free books. Anyone with ideas?



(On that note, that scene made me wanna just grab him and be like, 'you can have him back when you learn to be nice.' :p)

No matter. The month of free books has begun.

Yes, I know it is still one more day until October. There is Christmas stuff in the stores already, starting October a day early is not the worst thing.

Christmas stuff? Seriously? I can't say anything, because my house looks like Griswold's house starting around Thanksgiving, but...come on. It's ages to Halloween, it's not quite time for Santa to show up. Unless it's Jack Skellington in a Santa costume, but that does not count.

Anyways. One Sunny Afternoon is now free, so grab a copy while you can-it's back to $0.99 on Sunday, October 4th. It's here: http://www.amazon.com/One-Sunny-Afternoon-Mystery-Mysteries-ebook/dp/B014AM9WGG/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1443641331&sr=8-1&keywords=lalla+squeglia

See you soon-The Muse is free next time!

-Lalla

Saturday, September 26, 2015

Free Books!

Sorry I've been gone so long. I have a valid excuse, I swear. First something on my flash drive got corrupted and locked me out of half the folders, so I had to fix that, then my old laptop gave its life helping me recover my documents, so I had to replace that. (RIP, brave little laptop. You will never be forgotten.)

So there, you have my sad story. But I have happy news! One Sunny Afternoon will have a free period from Wednesday, September 30th to Sunday, October 4th. Isn't that exciting?

After that, The Muse will be free from Tuesday, October 6th, to Saturday, October 10th.

Then comes The Maze, which will be free from Monday, October 12th, to Friday, October 16th.

And finally, of course, The House on the Moor will be free from Sunday, October 18th to Thursday, October 22nd.

Look at that. All these free books coming your way. Whoo-hoo! I love October, myself-I'm a horror nut, and October means cheap/free horror books and movies. And my annual reread of Red Dragon, because apparently I like not sleeping for a few days.

-Lalla

Saturday, August 22, 2015

One Sunny Afternoon

Today is the day.

One Sunny Afternoon is available on Kindle for 0.99. http://www.amazon.com/One-Sunny-Afternoon-Mystery-Mysteries-ebook/dp/B014AM9WGG/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1440260186&sr=8-2&keywords=lalla+squeglia


If I may take a moment to thank a few people...

You guys. Twitter followers, Wattpad people, blog-reading-people, Facebook followers...I think that's everyone. Warm fuzzies go out to you.

My friends and family. I'm obligated to thank you, so's I don't feel like a selfish monster, but I do mean it, every word. (But I don't thank you when you bug me mid-inspiration strike. GO AWAY. :p)

And one particular dear friend for being with me every step of the way. Thank you so much.



Enough of that now. Go meet Friday! Go laugh at Friday. Worst she can do is sulk, it's perfectly fine to have a snicker at her expense.


-Lalla

Sunday, July 5, 2015

Information Overload

Not really. BUT I have news. It's good news, I promise.

 The House on the Moor will be free on Kindle from July 12th to July 16th. Be excited!

Also, One Sunny Afternoon is in its final editing stages. I'll be honest with you, there were times that I thought this wasn't going to happen. Friday kept dragging her feet and going, 'But I don't wanna date this guy!' and I had to go, 'Too bad, it's for the plot! Now get out there and flirt, bitch, flirt!'

Yeah. She was not happy with me. Too bad. She could have it worse, you know.

-Lalla

Sunday, June 28, 2015

The Maze

Apologies for not hyping it up and all, but my internet's been...difficult. It's been a little windy/wet/lightning-y here, I'm blaming that.

Anyways, The Maze is free for Amazon Kindle right now. So go get a copy. http://www.amazon.com/Maze-Ravens-Curse-Book-ebook/dp/B00EPG45M4/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1435501360&sr=8-1&keywords=lalla+squeglia+the+maze


Also, I HAVE FOUND THE THEME SONG FOR THE WHOLE RAVEN SERIES. In some strange alternate universe where they make a movie (I hope they don't, I can see them really butchering Abigail especially), this is the main theme. It's Mythos' 'Icarus' and it fits so well.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_6CeR8tdmXs

On that note, I'm feeling all... set-designer-y again, so maybe I'll make another I-Spy puzzle or something. Because I can.

-Lalla

Sunday, June 14, 2015

And So it Begins...

Today's the day! The Muse begins its free period on Kindle. Grab a copy, leave some love. (And do I really have to mention that both Raven novels will begin their free periods very soon? Wink, wink.) #Yougottahavepinkhair

Oh! I made a Tumblr on impulse. I keep forgetting about it...but come follow me. Make you a deal-come find me (my name's not hard to find, y'know) and I'll try to remember it more. Sound good?

http://www.amazon.com/Muse-Lalla-Squeglia-ebook/dp/B00MY6Q5M0/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1434289093&sr=8-1&keywords=lalla+squeglia+the+muse

-Lalla

Thursday, June 4, 2015

Freebie

The free goodness begins again! The Muse starts its free period on June 14th and runs until June 18th. Tell your friends. Share it with the world via #yougottahavepinkhair.

-Lalla

Wednesday, June 3, 2015

The Twelve Trips to Wal-Mart


Not bad for a non-poet, eh? Sing to 'The Twelve Days of Christmas'. (And yes, I have seen all of these. Often more than one per trip. *shudders*)
 
On the first trip to Wal-Mart/my frightened eyes did see…a woman with a goatee!

On the second trip to Wal-Mart/my frightened eyes did see…two barefoot children and a woman with a goatee!

On the third trip to Wal-Mart/my frightened eyes did see…three drunken rednecks/two barefoot children and a woman with a goatee!

On the fourth trip to Wal-Mart/my frightened eyes did see…four fallen diapers/three drunken rednecks/two barefoot children and a woman with a goatee!

On the fifth trip to Wal-Mart/my frightened eyes did see…five mouth-breathers!/four fallen diapers/three drunken rednecks/two barefoot children/and a woman with a goatee!

On the sixth trip to Wal-Mart/my frightened eyes did see…six Rascals rolling/five mouth-breathers!/four fallen diapers/three drunken rednecks/two barefoot children/and a woman with a goatee!

On the seventh trip to Wal-Mart/my frightened eyes did see…seven scowling stock boys/six Rascals rolling/five mouth-breathers!/four fallen diapers/three drunken rednecks/two barefoot children/and a woman with a goatee!

On the eighth trip to Wal-Mart/my frightened eyes did see…eight ‘git-er-dones’/seven scowling stock boys/six Rascals rolling/five mouth-breathers!/four fallen diapers/three drunken rednecks/two barefoot children/and a woman with a goatee!

On the ninth trip to Wal-Mart/my frightened eyes did see…nine rat-tails/eight ‘git-er-dones’/seven scowling stock boys/six Rascals rolling/five mouth-breathers!/four fallen diapers/three drunken rednecks/two barefoot children/and a woman with a goatee!

On the tenth trip to Wal-Mart/my frightened eyes did see…ten abandoned Starbucks/nine rat-tails/eight ‘git-er-dones’/seven scowling stock boys/six Rascals rolling/five mouth-breathers!/four fallen diapers/three drunken rednecks/two barefoot children/and a woman with a goatee!

On the eleventh trip to Wal-Mart/my frightened eyes did see…eleven toothless old guys/ten abandoned Starbucks/nine rat-tails/eight ‘git-er-dones’/seven scowling stock boys/six Rascals rolling/five mouth-breathers!/four fallen diapers/three drunken rednecks/two barefoot children/and a woman with a goatee!

On the twelfth trip to Wal-Mart/my frightened eyes did see…twelve peeing Calvins/eleven toothless old guys/ten abandoned Starbucks/nine rat-tails/eight ‘git-er-dones’/seven scowling stock boys/six Rascals rolling/five mouth-breathers!/four fallen diapers/three drunken rednecks/two barefoot children/and a woman with a goatee!

Saturday, May 9, 2015

The Daniel Lambert

This has nothing to do with anything whatsoever, but it's so COOL.

Once upon a time, in the not-so-distant past, a patent was granted for what was essentially a steampunk rickshaw.

Yeah, you read that right. Look at this thing!



It's freaky and weird but still so...cool. Proof that truth is stranger than fiction, I guess...

-Lalla

Sunday, May 3, 2015

There Are No Stupid Questions...

Oh, but there are.

I understand we say this so as not to discourage students from asking questions, and that's good. (Unless you're asking if the prof is giving you homework, in which case you deserve what's coming to you.) Tragically, though, there are stupid questions. Many.

Want proof? I've got proof!

I have carpal tunnel syndrome. Every so often my wrists will hurt and I have to wear these uncomfortable, ugly braces. On the bright side, it gets me out of things. 'Could you carry this big heavy thing?' 'Oh...sure...just rest it on my braces.' 'Oh, I'm sorry! I'll get it, get out of the way.' And when I worked retail, it guilted customers into being nice to me. Apparently yelling at a sixteen year-old is acceptable unless they've got an obvious injury. (Seriously, be nice. We're tired, and we didn't make up that rule about no drinks allowed.)

Anyway. Braces. Usually nobody says anything, because they're kind of common and it's nobody's business. But sometimes I will be asked the following: 'Do those help?'

No, actually, I'm wearing these uncomfortable, clothes-snagging, movement-restricting things as a fashion statement.

True story, man. I don't know where that comes from. Is it a need to say something? Did they mean to say something else, and the words got jumbled on the way? I think it's funny-a little sad, but funny.
 Maybe that makes me a terrible person. Worth it.

-Lalla

Saturday, May 2, 2015

Words Can Never Hurt Me

That phrase up there? I would like to call BS on that. And I have proof to back it up! I have a whole list of books that broke my heart at one time or another. Some of them remedied the problem (that's right, back away from the character!) but some of them...didn't. *sobs*

1) Sherlock Holmes. I know, I know. He faked his death for three years. I was eleven, and my book didn't have anything past 'The Final Problem'. I didn't know. Heart=broken until, funnily enough, about three years later.

2) Inkspell. Dammit. God dammit. You monster. And yes, I did read Inkdeath. That doesn't change the fact that I got that book for Christmas, and it ruined my winter vacation.

3) Ptolemy's Gate. I take back everything I said during the last book. That ending is not acceptable. I will remain in denial until you write a better one. How could you do this to me?

4) The Sweet Far Thing. Okay, this one more made me mad than heartbroken, but still. Although, my mother took it very badly-she will not speak of it without extreme disdain, IF she has to speak of it at all.

5) The Deathly Hallows. You all know what happened here, I'm sure. Words need not be written.

-Lalla

Friday, May 1, 2015

Release Date

Ladies and Gentlemen, the post you've all been waiting for...

One day I hope to become so predictable that I won't have to tell you the release date. Hey, I can dream, can't I?

Anyway. One Sunny Afternoon will hit Amazon Kindle on...of course...August 22nd, 2015. What can I say, it's how I roll.

So yeah, tell your friends. Tweet about it. Set your calendars. And prepare to meet Friday Jones, long-suffering secretary to Mitchel White, private detective. I'll post a link when it's time.

-Lalla

Monday, April 20, 2015

News

Those of you not suffering from allergies, my envy knows no bounds. Nature has it in for me, man, it really does. I don't know what I did. I wasn't one of those kids that destroys anthills or anything.

Anyway...

Today's the day! The Maze starts its free period for Amazon Kindle. It's here, so grab a copy. C'mon, you know you want to...

http://www.amazon.com/Maze-Ravens-Curse-Book-ebook/dp/B00EPG45M4/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1429538827&sr=8-3&keywords=lalla+squeglia

Also, since today is Alice Garden's birthday, there is a short story going up on Wattpad, so you should go check that out. It's here-there's two more chapters, but you get those over the next couple of days. http://www.wattpad.com/story/35805706-the-student

-Lalla

Tuesday, April 7, 2015

More Free Goodness

Seeing as everybody else has had a free period, Max and Marie need one, too. Hey, it's only fair. So yeah, The Maze will be free on Amazon Kindle (where else?) from April 20th to April 24th.

-Lalla

Sunday, April 5, 2015

Freebie

It's tiiime! The House on the Moor begins its free period today. Grab a copy, leave some love, tell your friends. http://www.amazon.com/House-Moor-Ravens-Curse-Book-ebook/dp/B0091XZ4TO/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1428157513&sr=8-2&keywords=lalla+squeglia

In another couple of weeks I'll have a release date for One Sunny Afternoon, so stay tuned. Also, today is the day that Color Blind begins its move to Wattpad, so check that out!

-Lalla

Tuesday, March 31, 2015

Iago

Seeing as The House on the Moor will be free starting Sunday (!)...yeah. This.

Iago-remember her?-may not have a ginormous role in that particular book, but you can blame her, directly or indirectly, for everything. Ever. This family made the grave mistake of pissing her off, and she's not too happy. She's never really happy, but...well, you get what I mean. I hope.

Still working out the specifics for her arrival, but this scene, right here, really defines her. Poor Quincy. You won't meet him for a while, but that doesn't really matter.
* * *

Quincy had long since quit trying to stay upright. What remained of his clothes were stuck to him with either sweat or blood and he couldn’t see straight anymore.

The guard holding his wrists let go and he dropped to his knees. This was it. He was going to die. He didn’t even care.

Iago knelt in front of him and made him lift his head.

“Hello, sweetie.” she said softly. “Ready to talk to me?”

“No.” He tried to pull his head away and she tightened her grip on his face. “No.”

“Resilient little bugger, aren’t you?” She laughed. “I think I might grow to like you.”

She kissed him, that horrible forked tongue snaking down his throat. He tasted brimstone, choked and tried to pull away again. This time she let him. He vomited, but now the brimstone was flavored with bile.

“Get him out of my sight.” When the men didn’t move, she cracked her whip. “Now!”

* * *

Nice girl, isn't she? Loves pain, that one. And people. She eats people sometimes. She'd like to eat Quincy, but she's not allowed right now. I need him.

-Lalla

Monday, March 30, 2015

Teach Men Not to Rape

Yeah. We're veering into some serious territory here, my friends. And I'm sorry, but I think this has to be said, especially in the light of all these frat incidents and...yeah.

Whilst procrastinating on the internet the other day, I came across a quote by Kurt Cobain: “Rape is one of the most terrible crimes on earth and it happens every few minutes. The problem with groups who deal with rape is that they try to educate women about how to defend themselves. What really needs to be done is teaching men not to rape. Go to the source and start there.”    

(I'm not sure he did say it, but it sounds like something he'd say, and I'm too lazy to check.)

The comment section, unsurprisingly, was a scary place.

"they already know it's a crime, telling them to stop that isn't going to work."

"what about teaching women to be more careful?"

And on and on. You know, typical internet comment faire. There were worse ones, but I'm not putting those. (I was glad to see that the really asshole-ish ones were downvoted. It's something.)

First of all, I don't think he meant to teach men not to rape AS A SINGLE MEASURE. Think about it. When you're sick, you do multiple things to get better. You rest. You eat healthy. You drink lots of fluids. Sometimes you go and get meds. You don't do one of these things alone, you do them together. This should be the same way. Teach them, but don't put yourself unnecessarily in harm's way. Be careful getting blackout drunk at a party, for instance. It's sad, but there are creeps out there who think that if someone's passed out, that that's consent. (And yes, I know women can rape, too. Cracked.com, of all places, had a great article on that. If you can find it, definitely give it a read.)

BUT we really aren't teaching men not to rape. We tell them it's wrong, the same way we tell kids that kicking their friend in the shins is wrong. But we don't really show them that it's wrong.

Don't believe me? I have proof. Well, I have a personal anecdote, and there's others all over the place.

My next-door neighbor is a rapist. He spent twenty years (give or take) in prison for breaking into a woman's house and assaulting her. (So there goes the 'she was asking for it' excuse people seem to like. Because, you know, she was in her own house and all.)

It gets better. Apparently there are 'levels' of sex offender. The ones that won't reoffend, the ones that might, and the ones that will. Guess which one he is?

That's right. Will. The guy has been deemed to be a danger to society. The logical thing to do would be to keep said danger locked away. Serial killers stay in jail. Spree killers stay in jail, if they don't die before they get there. Dangers to society stay away  from society.

But not this one, because-for whatever reason-rape is not serious enough to be a 'real' danger.

This guy used to try to come over when my dad wasn't home. He tried to get my mum and I to go inside his house. Crime aside, RED FLAG. What kind of ordinary person does that? I'm sure he'd have tried to come in by now, but we finally bit it and got two big dogs. The visits ceased immediately. Guess he doesn't want to be friends with the monsters. :p

Anyway. What does that tell our boys? I don't think it tells them that rape is wrong, because this guy's out. We need to show them that it's wrong, and that means keeping 'dangers to society' locked away.

That is all. Sorry for the serious topic, but it needed to happen.

-Lalla

Sunday, March 29, 2015

First Look

Guess wha-at?

You guys are gonna get the first chapter of One Sunny Afternoon today. I figure if I put it here, I'll have to have it ready soon. It's a very good anti-procrastination thing. Because let me tell you, if I can find a reason to surf the internet or reorganize my room or arrange my closet by color, I will do it. (The closet thing did not work out, by the way. Half of it was black, a quarter of it was dark, and then I had a few random light colors...most of which were light grey.) The first TWO chapters will be over on Wattpad, but for those of you not there (where are you?), you can have this one. And don't forget-The Muse's free period is almost over, so get it while you can. http://www.amazon.com/Muse-Lalla-Squeglia-ebook/dp/B00MY6Q5M0/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1427644476&sr=8-2&keywords=lalla+squeglia
* * *


“Hey, Fri?”

Friday Jones closed her eyes and silently cursed her parents. What kind of idiots named their child Friday? It wasn’t even a name!

“Yes, boss?”

“Will you stick this in the mail on your way home?”

“What is it?”

“The rent.”

“Sure.”

Mitchel White dropped an envelope on her desk. It was a little creased around the edges and Friday put her dictionary on top of it.

“What?”

“You didn’t notice the creases?”

He shrugged. Friday rolled her eyes and stretched. He hadn’t had a client for two days. Couldn’t she go home early? It was the weekend, after all.

“You can leave early, if you want.” Oh, he was a mind reader! “I have to meet with a client this afternoon.”

Oh, really?

“Is she pretty?”

He is about fifty pounds overweight and unaware of something called a bath.”

That was unfortunate. Better him than her. But why didn’t she know about this? She usually knew what the person looked like, at least.

“Why all the hush-hush?”

“I wish I could tell you, Fri, but they made me promise. I’ve probably said too much as it is.”

Ah, the price she paid for being the secretary. She’d much rather type than follow people around in the rain, though. Besides, she’d never been shot at, knocked out, or attacked in an alley. She’d been kidnapped once, but that was all.

“Get receipts for everything in case he kills you.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence.”

What? He’d hired her to type and answer the phone, not be his personal cheerleading squad.

“You’re welcome.”

“Here.” he said, tossing a check at her. “Thank you for another week of keeping the wisecracks to a minimum and keeping my files in order.”

It was payday? She’d forgotten. Well, there was another fifty dollars towards that mink coat at Spade’s.

“Thank you for remembering to pay me.”

“Don’t forget to drop that.” He tapped the dictionary. “I have to get going. See you Monday.”

“Take a bubble bath if you get stressed.”

“Men don’t take bubble baths.”

“Your loss. Bye, Mitch.”

* * *

A girl really couldn’t do better than this, Friday thought. A nice bubble bath, a glass of fine wine, and a good, trashy book. And it was the weekend! What more could she ask for?

Chocolate. She could ask for chocolate. Maybe she still had some pudding in the fridge. That would be just perfect.

The telephone rang.

Friday closed her eyes and hoped it would stop. Maybe if she ignored it, it would stop.

It kept ringing and she lowered a little further into the bubbles. She was dripping wet, for crying out loud! There was no reason for the phone to be ringing!

It finally stopped and she leaned back into her bubbles. Ahh. Bubble bath.

Saturday, March 28, 2015

News

Oh, my god. This has to be the most blog posts in a row from me.

That's actually kind of sad. Or not. Is it? I don't know.

ANYWAY.

Color Blind will begin its move to Wattpad.com on April 5th. It will not be removed from Smashwords until I am finished moving it, which will take time, but yeah. Just keep that in mind.

Other Wattpad news! In honor of Alice Garden's birthday-April 20th, Layne often mocks her for having a birthday on 4/20 (such a child)-a short story will be going up over there. I have a draft of a ghost story there, too, so you go should go and check that out. I mean, free reading material.

So yeah, come over, look me up. I think I might put the Raven Family Tree up there, too-yeah, I haven't forgotten them. Their troubles are far from over. Max and Marie are back at home, but you know, there's been the strangest goings-on. Something about phantom singing? Maybe old Max is as crazy as they say...

-Lalla

Friday, March 27, 2015

More Free!

I make it rain!

Not really. I just hand out free e-books and multiple blog posts per day. Starting on April 5th, The House on the Moor will begin a free period. Now that Layne's got one, they all want one, apparently. And since Nathan's a bit...scarier...than Layne, I sure as hell am not about to tell him no. You understand, I'm sure. So yeah. April 5th. Free gothic novel. Tell your friends.

On that note, HUGE THANK YOU to the blog 'Gothic Romance Reviews' (found here: http://gothicromancereviews.blogspot.com/) for mentioning The House on the Moor back in November. Would've thanked you sooner, but I had no idea. :*) I'm touched. And by 'touched' I mean 'I started bugging all my friends and family with the news for the next several hours'. Good place to look, by the way, if that's your genre. Good taste over there.

Yeah. Free book. Soon. And don't forget to pick up The Muse while it's still free, maybe leave some love for Layne. Who knows, maybe I'll let him do a blog entry sometime soon, he'd be all about that.

-Lalla

Free Goodness

At long last, The Muse begins its free period. Make Layne happy. Grab a copy.

http://www.amazon.com/Muse-Lalla-Squeglia-ebook/dp/B00MY6Q5M0/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1427383749&sr=8-2&keywords=lalla+squeglia

-Lalla

Wednesday, March 25, 2015

Clean Reader

In my travels on the internet, I have come across some sort of app entitled 'Clean Reader'. (Well, more accurately, somebody else found it first and I found their post, but still.)

The idea behind Clean Reader is...meh. Basically, if you download it, you can pick your setting and it'll go through changing words to suit it. So 'fuck' becomes 'fudge' (or whatever). Personally, I don't want my reading material to be censored-somehow, 'oh my fudging god!' lacks something. But that's just me.

BUT apparently they don't have to ask permission to do this to *your* book. No copyright laws are being broken because-and I quote-'all Clean Reader does is change the way the content is displayed on screen'. (FAQ section of their website.)

Oh, HELL NO.

Look. Take...let's take Color Blind, shall we? Lots of swearing. But in that book, Nancy going, 'oh, fuck you' is the least of your problems. (Between 'fuck' and 'Cole is going through heroin withdrawal'...yeah.) If you don't want to read a book with curses, then you probably don't want to read Color Blind for lots of other reasons. As such, I would appreciate an 'opt out'. I'm sorry. I would. Those words were put there for a reason. Nancy and Cole are not the Cleavers, and editing their thoughts is indeed editing the story, even if you're not actively doing something to the word document I wrote it on.

Not okay.

-Lalla

PS: TWO MORE DAYS UNTIL THE MUSE BEGINS ITS FREE PERIOD! WHOO!

Sunday, March 22, 2015

Symbolism in The Muse

Seeing as The Muse will be free for a week starting on the 27th (tell your friends!), and I want to blog but can't come up with anything else, here: pointless trivia.

Once upon a time, I submitted a couple of chapters to my writing class for discussion. Hey, it was already written. Saved me the effort of writing something new. I suspect, however, that symbolism hunting is a requirement for writing teachers. Well, I suspected it then. Now I have no doubt.

There is symbolism in that book-the dog, the woods, the cave...all of those things are spoiler-y, so we won't go into what they symbolize.

BUT...

About 90% of things have no symbolism whatsoever. I just put them there because I felt like it. Layne's pink hair? Hell if I know. He's always had it. Alice's last name? (It's Garden.) I was listening to a Pearl Jam song called Garden. Seriously, there's no meaning in her name. It's just a name.

But the best one? At one point, Layne writes Alice a chocolate bar. When it appears, it's got a wrapper on it, because they're outside and who wants dirt on their chocolate bar? Seriously, I put the wrapper there for practical reasons. For whatever reason, they latched onto that as having a deeper meaning. Why that, I have no clue.

Struck me speechless, it really did. I think I stammered out something about the chocolate bar maybe landing in a puddle, but...priceless.

So trust me when I say, that sometimes a candy wrapper is just a candy wrapper.

And don't forget. 5/27. Free for a week. #yougottahavepinkhair

-Lalla

Thursday, March 19, 2015

"Put Some Meat on Your Bones!"

I'll admit it. I've probably been referred to as a 'skinny bitch' behind my back. I'm little, I know. It's not my fault, my parents are small, too. I prefer fruits to hamburgers (but put a plate of bacon down and all bets are off).

So I'll put up with the above phrase from well-meaning family members. It's annoying, but it doesn't veer into 'worth family discord' territory. A quick distraction with the appetizer table and I can hide until they find someone else to bother. Strangers, on the other hand...

Seriously. I was in line at the bank yesterday, minding my own business, when some old guy gets in line behind me. But he can't just be in line, he has to chat. And today he has decided that his opinion about me is important.

'Heh-heh, you need to put some meat on those bones! Corned beef 'n cabbage or somethin'!' *invades personal space, hand reaching out to cup bony shoulder to make point* 'You ever eat?'

Luckily for him, I was rescued by the teller. (Thank you!) Really, though, what the hell? First of all, I don't go around saying, 'wow, you need to take some meat off those bones!' *pats stranger's stomach* 'you sleep-eat or somethin'?' Second of all, I have been-last week, in fact-mistaken for twelve. Which is fine, but what if he thought I was twelve? Who friggin' says that to a twelve year-old? And then tries to grab them? Creepy.

I think the next time this happens, I'll scream and starting announcing, 'Mommy told me never to talk to strangers! Bad man!' Only kidding...maybe.

-Lalla

Sunday, March 15, 2015

Layne and his big mouth

Two posts in one day. It's like having two slices of cake!

Anyways, I don't know about the rest of you, but sometimes...my characters can't shut up. Namely, Layne. He can't just accept that he's published and inflicting his presence on the world, oh, no. Now he wants freedom. So, in order to shut him the hell up, The Muse will be free from March 27th to March 31st. Make him happy. Go get a copy. Maybe leave a little love, he'd be all about that. (And he might quit bugging me. Save my sanity, please.)

-Lalla

Twitter

I now have a Twitter. I know. Anyway, follow me and I'll follow you. I'm nice like that.

-Lalla

https://twitter.com/LallaSqueglia

Friday, March 13, 2015

Regarding Color Blind

I know, it's been a long time. I could lie, and say I'll be better about blogging, but we both know I'd be lying. It's not because I hate you. I love you, I swear on...um...I swear on Dean Winchester's Impala. That's a good swear, right?

Anyway, remember how I said I'd be moving Color Blind off of Smashwords? That day is coming. I will not be moving to Amazon, however-I'll be moving it to Wattpad, so it'll still be free for you guys. I did mention I made a Wattpad account, right? I think I did...if I didn't, it's right here: http://www.wattpad.com/user/LallaSqueglia

So come follow me! I'm still poking around over there-I forgot I even had it about two weeks after I made it-but Color Blind will be there-I'll warn you before I wipe it off of Smashwords completely-and there's samples. And, I think, I will-one day-put little fun things regarding my other stories there as well. Family trees, deleted scenes, that sort of thing. I'm not the only weirdo that likes that sort of thing, am I?

More news on One Sunny Afternoon to come soon, still working on that. Those of you who like a good old-fashioned mystery, you're in for a treat.

-Lalla

Friday, January 16, 2015

Promo

Yes! Starting January 26th and continuing through January 30th, The House on the Moor will be free on Amazon.

-Lalla

Sunday, January 11, 2015

Valentine's Day

Happy New Year, everybody. Anybody stay up? It's not the same without Dick Clark, really. I didn't intend to, but my neighbors woke me up with firecrackers anyway.

Valentine's Day is coming. You know, in case the pink and red stuff everywhere didn't clue you in. I'm one of those weird people that kind of doesn't like Valentine's Day, to be honest. Pink and red are not compatible, and every free book/online "not news" article is titled 'how to get (and keep!) the man of your dreams. Is that literal? Because I've had a few dreams about...um...Sherlock Holmes, the Scarecrow, and James Bond-none of which were actually pleasant, by the way. Lots of running and screaming, and at least one leap off of a tower of wooden crates. They sucked, actually. I don't want any of them, thanks. Holmes might be okay, but Scarecrow would kill me and Bond would get me killed. Or at least give me an STD.

Anti-romantic, signing off. (Although I'll admit to squeezing over Faramir and Éowyn from LOTR, because that was adorable.)

-Lalla