Sunday, April 9, 2017

Rise From the Grave

Okay, so I wasn't technically dead, but...well, maybe I was. You can't prove anything.

Hoo, it's been a while. I suck at this blog-y thing. My default state is 'don't look at me'. I'd be a great assassin. I really would-the amount of times people have walked into me and gone, 'shit, I didn't see you!' is weirdly high. I mean, I get that I'm little, but c'mon.

Oh, well. That's my superpower, being unnoticed.

I have been writing, though, even though I'm not media-ing. Between you, me, and the internet, I sorta hate social media-ing. What d'you put? How d'you not sound annoying and fake? I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING.

Oh, well. I've been working my wrists into their braces getting my fantasy novel off the ground. Y'know, I didn't intend for it to become this hugely epic thing. It was a little writing exercise, and then Loki was like, 'Novel. Get on that.'

I'm telling y'all now, if you're gonna do a writing exercise, don't pick a god. Any control you had will fly away.

Gotta be honest, I'm not even mad. I haven't had this much fun in ages. It's not like I don't love my other stuff, because they're all my babies and of course I love them, but this...DRAGONS, guys. DRAGONS. And giants and magic and epic friendships!

It's so beautiful...I wish I could draw, this wants art. But alas, I cannot draw. Seriously, I can't draw a straight line with a ruler. Every art teacher I've had starts out with, 'everybody can do art!' and ends with 'well...that's nice.' Sorry, art teachers of mine. I tried to tell you.

But yeah, fantasy novel. It'll be a bit before you get to look at it, because I actually had to plan this out. I don't plan. I hate outlines. I'm always, 'your outline stifles my creative spirit!' but this time I really did have to kinda plan, because we kept going off-road and I couldn't keep up with the end goal without a map.


Wednesday, January 4, 2017

To Bait a Mouse

Happy New Year's! For my fellow Sherlockians, anyone else's reaction to the new series best summed up as 'fucking hell'? Anyone else freakishly excited for the next episode? Oh, brief, yet so bright, a comet of television...right up to the cliffhangers. Ouch.
As promised, a teaser. This is what started the whole book-I don't remember where the hell it came from (and it used to be in first person), but no matter. Here you go.
It’s threatening rain. The air is sticky, the clouds low. In the distance, she can see dull flashes.

The storm will be bad.

She is sitting outside the church. Her parents made her stay here-they were acting odd. She doesn’t know why. They promised they wouldn’t be long, but…


Six-year-old Cristyn Darke flinches and draws back against the building, eyes fixed on the horizon. Why won’t they hurry?

There’s another flash and a bone-shaking BOOM. No. She can’t stay out here. She’ll just slip inside and wait by the door.

The church door creaks but nobody looks at her. They’re too busy murmuring amongst themselves, their voices a low drone in the echoing building. Normally the cool air is comforting after the humidity, but today it feels different. Like the chills she gets when Mama tells her a ghost story.


The inside is different, too. At the front, where the minister usually stands, is a rope. It’s been thrown over one of the rafters and one end is knotted into a loop that swings lazily from side to side.

Next to the rope are three people. The butcher, the baker, and Christopher-everyone calls him Kit-Bishop. The butcher and the baker are standing on either side of Kit, whose hands are bound behind his back. He looks sick, scared.

What are they doing?

The minister nods and Kit suddenly speaks, his voice high and panicked.

“No, please, I’m innocent! Please!”

Innocent of what?

The rope is placed around his neck and the butcher takes the other end. With one quick jerk, Kit is pulled off his feet, choking and coughing.

He gets his hands free and clutches at the rope above his head, struggling to pull himself up. Somebody-Cristyn can’t see who-picks up a gun and levels it. Kit has time to shout, “Please!”

There is a gunshot and he silences. For a minute there’s coughing, choking, but she can’t see anything because of the smoke.

When the smoke clears, Kit’s body is swinging limply at the end of the rope.

Monday, December 19, 2016

Big News!

Well, sort of. Big for me. But that's not hard, I'm easily excited. :p

First off, as you know, the free period for November Hotel starts today. So that's exciting for everybody, because FREE BOOK. What's not to like? Anyways, from now to the 23rd, you can grab a copy and settle in with a nice ghost story. That's kinda Christmas-y, right? In a Victorian sort of way. (They had some good ghost stories, y'all-I think it was Dickens who wrote a good one called 'The Portrait-Painter's Story'. Or something like that-Google really isn't sure and it's been ages since I read it. But it was good.)

Here's the link to November Hotel, by the way, before I get too far off-topic:

Second off (that looks weird to me, does that look weird to you? Too late now, I'm not backspacing that far. I'm lazy. I own that.), NEW BOOK ON THE HORIZON.

Yeah. That's the fun news. It will not be out in 2017, because let's be honest, 2016 was a (pardon my French) clusterfuck of a year and not a lot got done. Hey. It happens. I did, however, start a fantasy book that's great fun, but you don't get that one for a good long while.

The new book-titled To Bait a Mouse-will be out in August 2018. It's big and fat, guys. I'm still tweaking and editing and all, but so far it's clocking in at about 230 Word pages. 60,000 words. I'll post an excerpt another time, but yeah. Big book ahoy. So I don't feel too bad about making you wait an extra year.

More details will come later, but I couldn't keep it to myself any longer. I just couldn't!

Happy Holidays to everyone, and if I don't write again until later, Happy New Year's. May you all keep your resolutions and not murder any relatives over the dinner table. To motivate you, here is a picture of my ugly dog (and me in the background, but who cares about that when there's a DOG):

-Lalla (and Tut!)

Monday, December 12, 2016

Monday, December 5, 2016

More Promos!

News, news, everywhere! Sort of. Kinda.

Firstly, The Maze is free from today 'til the 9th, so grab a copy. It's here:

Secondly, more promos are coming! SECOND WAVE!

The House on the Moor-December 12th-16th

November Hotel-December 19th-23rd

Happiness for all! Well...for some. Marie would like to know what she did to deserve all of this. Nothing, sweet pea. You just have terrible luck.

Great. That's just...the story of my life, I suppose.

Cheer her up. Grab a copy, leave a review. :)


Monday, November 28, 2016

Monday Blues...

Oh, it's Monday. And it's COLD. Well, for some of you it's not cold, and for some of you it's (pardon my French) REALLY FUCKING COLD, but for me it's just COLD.

But hey! Freebie!

From today to December 2nd, you can get One Sunny Afternoon for free on Kindle. Enjoy a good mystery! Laugh at Friday! (That's what I wonder she hates me.)

If I were a man, I would kill you in an alley. AND I KNOW HOW TO HIDE BODIES! You pick things up in this job.

Pfft. You'd chip a nail.

You suck.

Heh. Ray of sunshine, that one.


Monday, November 21, 2016