Saturday, May 9, 2015

The Daniel Lambert

This has nothing to do with anything whatsoever, but it's so COOL.

Once upon a time, in the not-so-distant past, a patent was granted for what was essentially a steampunk rickshaw.

Yeah, you read that right. Look at this thing!

It's freaky and weird but still Proof that truth is stranger than fiction, I guess...


Sunday, May 3, 2015

There Are No Stupid Questions...

Oh, but there are.

I understand we say this so as not to discourage students from asking questions, and that's good. (Unless you're asking if the prof is giving you homework, in which case you deserve what's coming to you.) Tragically, though, there are stupid questions. Many.

Want proof? I've got proof!

I have carpal tunnel syndrome. Every so often my wrists will hurt and I have to wear these uncomfortable, ugly braces. On the bright side, it gets me out of things. 'Could you carry this big heavy thing?' 'Oh...sure...just rest it on my braces.' 'Oh, I'm sorry! I'll get it, get out of the way.' And when I worked retail, it guilted customers into being nice to me. Apparently yelling at a sixteen year-old is acceptable unless they've got an obvious injury. (Seriously, be nice. We're tired, and we didn't make up that rule about no drinks allowed.)

Anyway. Braces. Usually nobody says anything, because they're kind of common and it's nobody's business. But sometimes I will be asked the following: 'Do those help?'

No, actually, I'm wearing these uncomfortable, clothes-snagging, movement-restricting things as a fashion statement.

True story, man. I don't know where that comes from. Is it a need to say something? Did they mean to say something else, and the words got jumbled on the way? I think it's funny-a little sad, but funny.
 Maybe that makes me a terrible person. Worth it.


Saturday, May 2, 2015

Words Can Never Hurt Me

That phrase up there? I would like to call BS on that. And I have proof to back it up! I have a whole list of books that broke my heart at one time or another. Some of them remedied the problem (that's right, back away from the character!) but some of them...didn't. *sobs*

1) Sherlock Holmes. I know, I know. He faked his death for three years. I was eleven, and my book didn't have anything past 'The Final Problem'. I didn't know. Heart=broken until, funnily enough, about three years later.

2) Inkspell. Dammit. God dammit. You monster. And yes, I did read Inkdeath. That doesn't change the fact that I got that book for Christmas, and it ruined my winter vacation.

3) Ptolemy's Gate. I take back everything I said during the last book. That ending is not acceptable. I will remain in denial until you write a better one. How could you do this to me?

4) The Sweet Far Thing. Okay, this one more made me mad than heartbroken, but still. Although, my mother took it very badly-she will not speak of it without extreme disdain, IF she has to speak of it at all.

5) The Deathly Hallows. You all know what happened here, I'm sure. Words need not be written.


Friday, May 1, 2015

Release Date

Ladies and Gentlemen, the post you've all been waiting for...

One day I hope to become so predictable that I won't have to tell you the release date. Hey, I can dream, can't I?

Anyway. One Sunny Afternoon will hit Amazon Kindle on...of course...August 22nd, 2015. What can I say, it's how I roll.

So yeah, tell your friends. Tweet about it. Set your calendars. And prepare to meet Friday Jones, long-suffering secretary to Mitchel White, private detective. I'll post a link when it's time.