There Are No Stupid Questions...

Oh, but there are.

I understand we say this so as not to discourage students from asking questions, and that's good. (Unless you're asking if the prof is giving you homework, in which case you deserve what's coming to you.) Tragically, though, there are stupid questions. Many.

Want proof? I've got proof!

I have carpal tunnel syndrome. Every so often my wrists will hurt and I have to wear these uncomfortable, ugly braces. On the bright side, it gets me out of things. 'Could you carry this big heavy thing?' 'Oh...sure...just rest it on my braces.' 'Oh, I'm sorry! I'll get it, get out of the way.' And when I worked retail, it guilted customers into being nice to me. Apparently yelling at a sixteen year-old is acceptable unless they've got an obvious injury. (Seriously, be nice. We're tired, and we didn't make up that rule about no drinks allowed.)

Anyway. Braces. Usually nobody says anything, because they're kind of common and it's nobody's business. But sometimes I will be asked the following: 'Do those help?'

No, actually, I'm wearing these uncomfortable, clothes-snagging, movement-restricting things as a fashion statement.

True story, man. I don't know where that comes from. Is it a need to say something? Did they mean to say something else, and the words got jumbled on the way? I think it's funny-a little sad, but funny.
 Maybe that makes me a terrible person. Worth it.

-Lalla

Words Can Never Hurt Me

That phrase up there? I would like to call BS on that. And I have proof to back it up! I have a whole list of books that broke my heart at one time or another. Some of them remedied the problem (that's right, back away from the character!) but some of them...didn't. *sobs*

1) Sherlock Holmes. I know, I know. He faked his death for three years. I was eleven, and my book didn't have anything past 'The Final Problem'. I didn't know. Heart=broken until, funnily enough, about three years later.

2) Inkspell. Dammit. God dammit. You monster. And yes, I did read Inkdeath. That doesn't change the fact that I got that book for Christmas, and it ruined my winter vacation.

3) Ptolemy's Gate. I take back everything I said during the last book. That ending is not acceptable. I will remain in denial until you write a better one. How could you do this to me?

4) The Sweet Far Thing. Okay, this one more made me mad than heartbroken, but still. Although, my mother took it very badly-she will not speak of it without extreme disdain, IF she has to speak of it at all.

5) The Deathly Hallows. You all know what happened here, I'm sure. Words need not be written.

-Lalla

Release Date

Ladies and Gentlemen, the post you've all been waiting for...

One day I hope to become so predictable that I won't have to tell you the release date. Hey, I can dream, can't I?

Anyway. One Sunny Afternoon will hit Amazon Kindle on...of course...August 22nd, 2015. What can I say, it's how I roll.

So yeah, tell your friends. Tweet about it. Set your calendars. And prepare to meet Friday Jones, long-suffering secretary to Mitchel White, private detective. I'll post a link when it's time.

-Lalla

News

Those of you not suffering from allergies, my envy knows no bounds. Nature has it in for me, man, it really does. I don't know what I did. I wasn't one of those kids that destroys anthills or anything.

Anyway...

Today's the day! The Maze starts its free period for Amazon Kindle. It's here, so grab a copy. C'mon, you know you want to...

http://www.amazon.com/Maze-Ravens-Curse-Book-ebook/dp/B00EPG45M4/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1429538827&sr=8-3&keywords=lalla+squeglia

Also, since today is Alice Garden's birthday, there is a short story going up on Wattpad, so you should go check that out. It's here-there's two more chapters, but you get those over the next couple of days. http://www.wattpad.com/story/35805706-the-student

-Lalla

More Free Goodness

Seeing as everybody else has had a free period, Max and Marie need one, too. Hey, it's only fair. So yeah, The Maze will be free on Amazon Kindle (where else?) from April 20th to April 24th.

-Lalla

Freebie

It's tiiime! The House on the Moor begins its free period today. Grab a copy, leave some love, tell your friends. http://www.amazon.com/House-Moor-Ravens-Curse-Book-ebook/dp/B0091XZ4TO/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1428157513&sr=8-2&keywords=lalla+squeglia

In another couple of weeks I'll have a release date for One Sunny Afternoon, so stay tuned. Also, today is the day that Color Blind begins its move to Wattpad, so check that out!

-Lalla

Iago

Seeing as The House on the Moor will be free starting Sunday (!)...yeah. This.

Iago-remember her?-may not have a ginormous role in that particular book, but you can blame her, directly or indirectly, for everything. Ever. This family made the grave mistake of pissing her off, and she's not too happy. She's never really happy, but...well, you get what I mean. I hope.

Still working out the specifics for her arrival, but this scene, right here, really defines her. Poor Quincy. You won't meet him for a while, but that doesn't really matter.
* * *

Quincy had long since quit trying to stay upright. What remained of his clothes were stuck to him with either sweat or blood and he couldn’t see straight anymore.

The guard holding his wrists let go and he dropped to his knees. This was it. He was going to die. He didn’t even care.

Iago knelt in front of him and made him lift his head.

“Hello, sweetie.” she said softly. “Ready to talk to me?”

“No.” He tried to pull his head away and she tightened her grip on his face. “No.”

“Resilient little bugger, aren’t you?” She laughed. “I think I might grow to like you.”

She kissed him, that horrible forked tongue snaking down his throat. He tasted brimstone, choked and tried to pull away again. This time she let him. He vomited, but now the brimstone was flavored with bile.

“Get him out of my sight.” When the men didn’t move, she cracked her whip. “Now!”

* * *

Nice girl, isn't she? Loves pain, that one. And people. She eats people sometimes. She'd like to eat Quincy, but she's not allowed right now. I need him.

-Lalla