Rise From the Grave

Okay, so I wasn't technically dead, but...well, maybe I was. You can't prove anything.

Hoo, it's been a while. I suck at this blog-y thing. My default state is 'don't look at me'. I'd be a great assassin. I really would-the amount of times people have walked into me and gone, 'shit, I didn't see you!' is weirdly high. I mean, I get that I'm little, but c'mon.

Oh, well. That's my superpower, being unnoticed.

I have been writing, though, even though I'm not like...social media-ing. Between you, me, and the internet, I sorta hate social media-ing. What d'you put? How d'you not sound annoying and fake? I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING.

Oh, well. I've been working my wrists into their braces getting my fantasy novel off the ground. Y'know, I didn't intend for it to become this hugely epic thing. It was a little writing exercise, and then Loki was like, 'Novel. Get on that.'

I'm telling y'all now, if you're gonna do a writing exercise, don't pick a god. Any control you had will fly away.

Gotta be honest, I'm not even mad. I haven't had this much fun in ages. It's not like I don't love my other stuff, because they're all my babies and of course I love them, but this...DRAGONS, guys. DRAGONS. And giants and magic and epic friendships!

It's so beautiful...I wish I could draw, this wants art. But alas, I cannot draw. Seriously, I can't draw a straight line with a ruler. Every art teacher I've had starts out with, 'everybody can do art!' and ends with 'well...that's nice.' Sorry, art teachers of mine. I tried to tell you.

But yeah, fantasy novel. It'll be a bit before you get to look at it, because I actually had to plan this out. I don't plan. I hate outlines. I'm always, 'your outline stifles my creative spirit!' but this time I really did have to kinda plan, because we kept going off-road and I couldn't keep up with the end goal without a map.

-Lalla

To Bait a Mouse

Happy New Year's! For my fellow Sherlockians, anyone else's reaction to the new series best summed up as 'fucking hell'? Anyone else freakishly excited for the next episode? Oh, Sherlock...so brief, yet so bright, a comet of television...right up to the cliffhangers. Ouch.
As promised, a teaser. This is what started the whole book-I don't remember where the hell it came from (and it used to be in first person), but no matter. Here you go.
********************************************************************************

 

It’s threatening rain. The air is sticky, the clouds low. In the distance, she can see dull flashes.

The storm will be bad.

She is sitting outside the church. Her parents made her stay here-they were acting odd. She doesn’t know why. They promised they wouldn’t be long, but…

BOOM.

Six-year-old Cristyn Darke flinches and draws back against the building, eyes fixed on the horizon. Why won’t they hurry?

There’s another flash and a bone-shaking BOOM. No. She can’t stay out here. She’ll just slip inside and wait by the door.

The church door creaks but nobody looks at her. They’re too busy murmuring amongst themselves, their voices a low drone in the echoing building. Normally the cool air is comforting after the humidity, but today it feels different. Like the chills she gets when Mama tells her a ghost story.

Wrong.

The inside is different, too. At the front, where the minister usually stands, is a rope. It’s been thrown over one of the rafters and one end is knotted into a loop that swings lazily from side to side.

Next to the rope are three people. The butcher, the baker, and Christopher-everyone calls him Kit-Bishop. The butcher and the baker are standing on either side of Kit, whose hands are bound behind his back. He looks sick, scared.

What are they doing?

The minister nods and Kit suddenly speaks, his voice high and panicked.

“No, please, I’m innocent! Please!”

Innocent of what?

The rope is placed around his neck and the butcher takes the other end. With one quick jerk, Kit is pulled off his feet, choking and coughing.

He gets his hands free and clutches at the rope above his head, struggling to pull himself up. Somebody-Cristyn can’t see who-picks up a gun and levels it. Kit has time to shout, “Please!”

There is a gunshot and he silences. For a minute there’s coughing, choking, but she can’t see anything because of the smoke.

When the smoke clears, Kit’s body is swinging limply at the end of the rope.

Big News!

Well, sort of. Big for me. But that's not hard, I'm easily excited. :p

First off, as you know, the free period for November Hotel starts today. So that's exciting for everybody, because FREE BOOK. What's not to like? Anyways, from now to the 23rd, you can grab a copy and settle in with a nice ghost story. That's kinda Christmas-y, right? In a Victorian sort of way. (They had some good ghost stories, y'all-I think it was Dickens who wrote a good one called 'The Portrait-Painter's Story'. Or something like that-Google really isn't sure and it's been ages since I read it. But it was good.)

Here's the link to November Hotel, by the way, before I get too far off-topic: https://www.amazon.com/November-Hotel-Lalla-Squeglia-ebook/dp/B01KTRUDKK/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1482154686&sr=8-3&keywords=lalla+squeglia

Second off (that looks weird to me, does that look weird to you? Too late now, I'm not backspacing that far. I'm lazy. I own that.), NEW BOOK ON THE HORIZON.

Yeah. That's the fun news. It will not be out in 2017, because let's be honest, 2016 was a (pardon my French) clusterfuck of a year and not a lot got done. Hey. It happens. I did, however, start a fantasy book that's great fun, but you don't get that one for a good long while.

The new book-titled To Bait a Mouse-will be out in August 2018. It's big and fat, guys. I'm still tweaking and editing and all, but so far it's clocking in at about 230 Word pages. 60,000 words. I'll post an excerpt another time, but yeah. Big book ahoy. So I don't feel too bad about making you wait an extra year.

More details will come later, but I couldn't keep it to myself any longer. I just couldn't!

Happy Holidays to everyone, and if I don't write again until later, Happy New Year's. May you all keep your resolutions and not murder any relatives over the dinner table. To motivate you, here is a picture of my ugly dog (and me in the background, but who cares about that when there's a DOG):

-Lalla (and Tut!)

Free Book

As promised, today begins the free period for The House on the Moor. From now to the 16th, you can pick up a copy at NO charge!

https://www.amazon.com/House-Moor-Ravens-Curse-Book-ebook/dp/B0091XZ4TO/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1481550501&sr=8-4&keywords=lalla+Squeglia

-Lalla

More Promos!

News, news, everywhere! Sort of. Kinda.

Firstly, The Maze is free from today 'til the 9th, so grab a copy. It's here: https://www.amazon.com/Maze-Ravens-Curse-Book-ebook/dp/B00EPG45M4/ref=sr_1_5?ie=UTF8&qid=1480947949&sr=8-5&keywords=lalla+Squeglia

Secondly, more promos are coming! SECOND WAVE!

The House on the Moor-December 12th-16th

November Hotel-December 19th-23rd

Happiness for all! Well...for some. Marie would like to know what she did to deserve all of this. Nothing, sweet pea. You just have terrible luck.

Great. That's just...the story of my life, I suppose.

Cheer her up. Grab a copy, leave a review. :)

-Lalla

Monday Blues...

Oh, it's Monday. And it's COLD. Well, for some of you it's not cold, and for some of you it's (pardon my French) REALLY FUCKING COLD, but for me it's just COLD.

But hey! Freebie!

From today to December 2nd, you can get One Sunny Afternoon for free on Kindle. Enjoy a good mystery! Laugh at Friday! (That's what I do...no wonder she hates me.)

If I were a man, I would kill you in an alley. AND I KNOW HOW TO HIDE BODIES! You pick things up in this job.

Pfft. You'd chip a nail.

You suck.

Heh. Ray of sunshine, that one.

-Lalla

Musings

Link 'n run, because I'm cold and wanna go back to bed. :p

From today to November 25th, The Muse is free on Kindle! Yes it is!

https://www.amazon.com/Muse-Lalla-Squeglia-ebook/dp/B00MY6Q5M0/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1479734698&sr=8-2&keywords=lalla+Squeglia

-Lalla

Holiday Promo

Sorry I've posted like...nothing. I've been unplugged. Election. You know. Everything's crazy and you know what, just no. I do not want to deal with other people's crazy. So sue me. (But not really, please, that's a hassle for everyone.)

But hey! Holiday freebies abound!

November 21st-25th: The Muse

November 28th-December 2nd-One Sunny Afternoon

December 5th-9th-The Maze

The other two will be free, but I can't set them up as freebies yet-they're eligible later than these-so I'll make a new blog post for them when I get them set up. :)

-Lalla

Christmas Disaster

Normally I keep my little sewing projects to myself, but this guy is too cute. The internet needs to look at him and pity him. (And by extension, me, for reasons I will get to in a second.)

I have dubbed this just-so-done little robot as 'Christmas Disaster'. The lights wrapped on him are actually one of those gloriously tacky Christmas Light Necklaces-they light up. They flash. He wants this all to be over.

He is me. My family consists of Christmas Light Freaks, as I've mentioned before. Our house is That House. You know the one.

I'm short. So what tends to happen is that I try to be helpful, and pull out a big strand o' lights that's longer than me, and there's been times that I end up like the little robot up there: trapped, helpless, and just so done.

Yeah. Pity him. And pity me, because I think in another week or so it's going to be time to dig out those lights.

-Lalla

The Last of the Freebies

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it is time. November Hotel will be free from today until October 24th, and is available here: https://www.amazon.com/November-Hotel-Lalla-Squeglia-ebook/dp/B01KTRUDKK/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1476971048&sr=8-4&keywords=lalla+Squeglia

Just in time for Halloween, eh?

I-I don't know that it's really necessary to exploit-

Hush, Wesley, it is. It's all fine.

But-

Shh. Go back to your book. Such a moral compass on that one...he's precious. A social disaster, but precious.

I just don't like hugs, that's all. That doesn't make me a social disaster.

Wes, dear, that's just what you admit. You are. It's okay, so am I, it's fine.

-Lalla

Freebie Friday!

Yes! It's here! The House on the Moor is free on Kindle (where else would it be, though, really) from today until Oct. 18th. https://www.amazon.com/House-Moor-Ravens-Curse-Book-ebook/dp/B0091XZ4TO/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1476453266&sr=8-4&keywords=lalla+Squeglia

Poor Abigail. It's not that I ever doubted her, because she's got her life under control, but I do feel a little bit bad for scaring her. And making her deal with Nathan.

Thanks ever so much. Truly, it was the best time of my life, being paranoid that my employer had bodies in the attic.

It wasn't that bad!

Shut it. You didn't have to experience it.

Oh, come on, a little adventure never hurt anybody.

Then YOU do it.

Self-inserts are frowned upon.

Which is fancy way of saying you don't want to.

Ignore her, she's bitter. Free book. Grab it while you can.

-Lalla

Pain and Suffering

There are two things you should know about me. One, is that I am prone to sleep paralysis-and very prone to having multiple episodes in one night. Oftentimes I'll come out of one, roll over to go back to sleepy, and just go right back into it. It bites. BUT I can sometimes wake up enough to make it stop if I touch something 'real', preferably not on my bed. I don't know why, but it works and I'll take it.

The other is that I can sew. Not well, but I enjoy it.

Early on in my sewing escapades, I made a little Scarecrow doll, mostly based off of his appearance in Arkham Asylum-so he's got a little 'needle glove' on his hand. Said glove is actually made of chopped up safety pins and is surprisingly sharp. Most of the time Scarecrow sits on a shelf where he can't accidentally stab someone, but yesterday I was cleaning and forgot to put him back, so he spent the night on my nightstand.

I'm sure you see where this is going.

Yeah. Last night I had an episode, flailed wildly-I think I was aiming for the lamp-and managed to stab myself on that damn glove. It certainly worked-no more sleep paralysis for me that night-but ow. I haven't felt this betrayed since playing the actual game, for that last hallucination.

Lesson learned. If you have night troubles, keep sharp objects well out of reach.

-Lalla

Two-Day Special

Due to user error brought about by internet failure (I think the construction near my house is at fault for that), The Maze has a limited run. But that's all right, because now we're getting into the more seasonal reads. I dunno about you guys, but I like a good gothic novel around this time of year. It's not cold, really, here, so I have to put in effort to remember that hey, it's October, not August. Marie's lucky. Raven Manor actually does have seasons. Granted, they're usually cloudy, but...

I don't really miss the sun anymore. I thought I would, but I got used to the rain.

Oh, Marie. You started as such a sweet, innocent ray of sunshine.

I guess...

You did! You were so precious... *sniffs* I'm sorry for everything that happened.

Ehh, not really, but I do feel obligated to apologize.

Anyway. Two-day special-The Maze is free today and tomorrow ONLY. Act fast!

https://www.amazon.com/Maze-Ravens-Curse-Book-ebook/dp/B00EPG45M4/ref=sr_1_5?ie=UTF8&qid=1475932684&sr=8-5&keywords=lalla+squeglia

-Lalla

Dun, dun, dun, another one bites the dust...

But not really. I don't know where I was going with that, but I'm too lazy to come up with another title.

Another promo begins today! Yes, from now until October 6th, you can have One Sunny Afternoon for free! Like The Muse, this isn't really Halloween-y/spooky/whatever. Like Layne, Friday is reminding me that she-

-was MISERABLE for the ENTIRE book, pretty much! Thanks a lot! It's great that YOU had fun, but no one ever thinks about poor Friday! 'Friday's fine, she's plucky', if I had a nickel for every time I heard that, I'd have...um...so much money. SO. MUCH. MONEY. So you can take your 'wasn't that scary' and shove it-

That's enough, Friday. Be nice to me or I'll kill you off one day.

So. Mystery novel. Free. Go, go, go!

 https://www.amazon.com/One-Sunny-Afternoon-Mystery-Mysteries-ebook/dp/B014AM9WGG/ref=sr_1_5?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1475416338&sr=1-5&keywords=lalla+squeglia

-Lalla

The Muse is not Amused

He's actually kind of mad at me. :/ My thinking was that since The Muse isn't really spooky or any way Halloween-y, I'd get that promo out of the way early. Layne would like me to point out that the whole thing was very traumatizing and horrible for him-

I was chased by a DOG, Lalla. A determined monster-dog that chased me over hill and over dale and into a CAVE. In what way is that not 'spooky'? Huh? Well?

Yeah, he's actually kind of bitchy about it. He'll live.

You can make him feel better though, by going to download your free copy of The Muse any time between now and Sebtember 30th. And maybe leaving a review.

https://www.amazon.com/Muse-Lalla-Squeglia-ebook/dp/B00MY6Q5M0/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1474900998&sr=8-3&keywords=lalla+squeglia

A CAVE! IT WAS DARK! I'm so glad you were removed from the situation, but I WASN'T, and it was AWFUL.

Please. He'll never shut up otherwise.

I didn't get no sleep 'cuz of you, you're gonna get no sleep 'cuz of me!

Yeah. That's my life now. It sucks. Pity me.

-Lalla

The promos are coming

Really, they are-see? The Maze is really short because when I set it up, my internet cut out when I went back to edit it (they're doing construction here, I think that's why) and it didn't take and ran a few days of promo without my knowledge. Sorry. :/ It'll have a special promo another day to make up for it.

The Muse-Sept. 26-30

One Sunny Afternoon-Oct. 2-6

The Maze-Oct. 8-9

The House on the Moor-Oct. 14-18

November Hotel-Oct. 20-24

Huzzah!

-Lalla

Curse of the Feather Bed

...no, that is not a cheap-yet-entertaining 60s ghost story or an episode of Courage the Cowardly Dog. That is my life right now. KILL ME.

Yeah, I had to house-sit for a few days. It was nice. Quiet. Y'know, a little bit boring. BUT (first world problems ahoy) my bed was a feather bed. Which sounds, in theory, to be quite nice.

Yeah. In theory, it is. In reality, I have a knee that my dog did something to (he rammed it at high speed, it didn't really...recover that well), and that kind of no-support bed...makes it sad.

So now I am at home, knee aching, thinking that I have never felt so sorry for Gotham's Oswald Cobblepot in my LIFE. Seriously. I know he's fairly psychotic and is responsible for an amazing amount of deaths, but GEEZE. I'm getting all caught up for season three and I'm just going, 'do you have painkillers? can you sit down? DON'T BUY A SQUISHY BED, YOU'LL REGRET IT!' and generally feeling really, really bad for him.

Which is why I wouldn't last five minutes in Gotham anyway. I can just see myself meeting the Scarecrow: 'are you eating anything? you can't live on coffee and screams, y'know!'

-Lalla

Won't you check in?

Or rather, don't-the November's got some nasty...long-term...guests.

Here we are again. I like this one. It's got some scares in it, I hope. There were a couple of scenes that I wrote a little late at night. When I write later, I turn off the light because one of the dogs (sweet thing, but dumb as a brick-once thought the TV was a window) gets convinced something's wrong and bothers other people if my light goes on really late at night. Whatever. No one's kidnapping me from my bed, I guess.

ANYWAYS, there were a couple of scenes that I wrote, and about halfway though went, 'screw the dog, I have to turn on the light'. Hopefully you, too, will be struck with the need to turn on an extra light.

Here it is, at long last, my go at a  Good Old-Fashioned Ghost Story^TM.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the November Hotel.


https://www.amazon.com/November-Hotel-Lalla-Squeglia-ebook/dp/B01KTRUDKK/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1471891650&sr=8-2&keywords=lalla+squeglia#nav-subnav


-Lalla

Selective Wimpism

I am what shall henceforth be termed a Selective Wimp. In certain situations, I can be brave. Sometimes even stupidly, first-to-die-in-the-horror-movie brave. In others? Well...



Exhibit A: that time I thought there was someone in the house.

I was home alone. At night. At the age of like, thirteen years old. And to make matters worse? It was October, season of serial killer movie marathons. Well, I hear a noise in the back of my house. A thump-thump noise. So, because I was thirteen and not spectacularly bright (I was in my dumb phase...), I thought someone was inside. Never mind the lack of barking dogs, someone was in the house.

What do I do? Do I call the cops? Call my parents? Call a friend? Nope. My dumb ass gets a kitchen knife and goes back there. I fling open the door, aaaand...

One of the dogs got himself locked into the bedroom and was trying to bump his way out. Yeah. It was...not my proudest moment. But I was gonna go back there and stab somebody! I was gonna do it, man!

Exhibit B: the roach in the bathroom.

Potential intruder? Bring it. The lowly cockroach? NOPE NOPE NOPE.

I hate roaches. I hate them. I don't know why, but I do. I have Katsaridaphobia-fear of roaches. (I feel a bit validated that there's a name-I'm not alone!) I won't go near them, dead or alive. If I must deal with it, I will get the vacuum extension and do it from a distance. Or do what I did last time I saw one in the bathroom-fling a sticky mouse trap inside and slam the door and run to another room.

Hey, I did say I was a Selective Wimp...

-Lalla

November Hotel's Playlist

November Hotel has a sort-of playlist. It's short. It's like an EP. Do they still have EPs? IS MY AGE SHOWING?

If my age is indeed showing, it's in your best interests to keep your mouths shut. Hint, hint.

Here! Take this author-created playlist/EP/whatever for your listening enjoyment!

1) Worry About You, Ivy

I've mentioned this before. Worry About You is vaguely creepy and yet really pretty and I like it.

2) When Under Ether, PJ Harvey

Some of you might recognize this from the second season of Peaky Blinders (which you should be watching, by the way), when Tommy is on the boat after...checking out...of the hospital. Again, it's actually kind of creepy. Sounds like it's about some sort of old-school surgery-you know, the type that often goes wrong.

3) Lightness, Death Cab For Cutie

If Wes and Maggie have a 'together theme', it's this. I don't know why, it just came on and I was like, 'my precious cinnamon buns, this is for you'.

4) Title and Registration, Death Cab For Cutie

Another one? Weird. But again, it came on and fit nicely and here we are.

5) 1901, Phoenix

If Thomas were to have a theme, it's this. It's so...happy. There's joy. And Thomas is my precious baby and I want him to be happy. (Who am I kidding...all my characters are my precious babies. But Thomas is special because I don't wish misery on him.)

6) Undercover Martyn, Two Door Cinema Club

I just like it, and it came on during editing one day and sort of got associated with it by accident.

Wow, it started out creepy and got progressively happier! Cool. Accidental, but cool.

-Lalla