Scary Stories

When I was but a child of six, I stumbled upon a book of scary stories. Being a glutton for sleepless nights, I got my mother to buy it for me. It had the relatively mundane title of Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark. After having been scarred by Joanna Galdone's reading of The Tailypo, I was brave. How bad could they be?

I spent the next week sleeping with the lights on. The book spent the next year shoved under the bed.

The stories themselves were nothing to write home about. Yeah, they were scary. That was the point. And some of them were genuinely frightening. My best friend and I made the dog sleep in the room with us because we thought a vampire would come in through the window. The dog was a great sport about that, by the way.

But the stories were not the worst part, oh no. That honor goes to the illustrations. Imagine, if you will, a cross between Tim Burton and the...never mind. I'll provide an example for you.



That's not even the worst of them. Most of them were much worse. Anybody remember these?

Timing

There are few things more inspiring than A) math tests and B) road trips. I suspect the monotony triggers some sort of creative flow. The road trip-ideas I enjoy. I can sit there and brainstorm while pretending to be asleep. The math test-ideas, though...really? Really, Characters? You couldn't have waited twenty minutes or whatever? Talk about terrible timing.

Coffee

There are few things more horrifying than waking up to hear, 'we're out of coffee'.

Seriously.

This last winter, Tucson actually got snow. I know, I know, the impossible. The apocalypse. But it really did snow-proper snow, like in a Christmas movie. That was bad. But being out of coffee is worse.

Imagine, if you will, stumbling over to the coffee pot, reaching for your mug, and picking up the pot. The pot is mysteriously light. You don't care, you're half-asleep. So you go to pour yourself a cup of deliciousness...and there's no sound. No coffee is coming out of the pot. And then someone tells you, 'yeah, we're out of coffee'.

That's when you drop to your knees, raise your hands to the ceiling, and let out a really big "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" If you can find the energy, anyway.

I think I'll take the snow over that scenario.

Wrong!

I could put a Sherlock reference in with a title like that, but I'll restrain myself.

Humans, as a rule, love to prove each other wrong. I don't know why we do it, but there you go. So, as a human, I am about to tell you that you are all WRONG! Well, most of you, anyway. Probably all of you.

Be honest. You think the Raven family's last name is pronounced like the bird. 'Ray-ven'. I can see why. It's spelled like the bird. It would make sense for it to be pronounced the same way. But it's not.

No, the little voice in my head wanted it to be pronounced all weird. So it's actually pronounced 'Rah-ven'. Like 'ha'. I don't know why. It just happened. Life's weird like that.

Oh, you're probably pronouncing my last name wrong, too. It's not 'sque-hee-la' or 'squig-lee-a' or anything like that. It's a little lame, actually. 'Squeg-lee-a'. Really, just like it looks. But everybody always just looks at it and does this little flailing thing. That's how I know they've come to my name on the list, when they do the little flail. Anybody else have that problem?

-Lalla (which, by the way, is 'la-la'. Like that creepy yellow Teletubby.)

Lies

I would like to take this posting to correct something. Dogs do indeed eat homework. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Don't believe me? I have the story to back it up.

Once upon a time, I had a puppy. A cute, sharp-toothed little puppy that had a fondness for all things paper. And that puppy ate my homework.

That's actually not quite true. He shredded my homework. It's not inconceivable that some pieces would have been ingested, though.

Said homework blew off the table without my noticing and he found it first. By the time I got there, all that remained were small chunks of lined paper with bits of Spanish on them.

Never mind the fact that no one believed me. Never mind the fact that everyone insists that 'dogs don't eat homework!' They are lying.

On another note, editing on The Maze is now completed. Now it's just going to sit on my flash drive until it's time to be published. Whee.

-Lalla

Nightmares

I love nightmares. Weird, huh?

I'm not talking about the personal ones. You know, the 'giant daddy long-legs fell into my hair' types. I hate those as much as the next person. They're horrible and you wake up all itchy and paranoid. Daddy long-legs need to stay on the ceiling, not hang out in my hair.

I'm talking about the ones that play out like an unmade horror film. The ones that have a soundtrack and camera angles and stuff. I dream in movies a lot. Once I dreamt of a James Bond/Batman Begins crossover...but that's a story for another time.

The other night I had a really good one involving some dude, an evil trunk, and a possibly haunted house. There were some more details-something about a fishpond murder-but I'll keep those to myself. I wrote it down and it's turning into a short story. It might grow longer. I hope it does. They have a habit of doing that.

-Lalla

I Have No Idea What I'm Doing

I hear two questions on a fairly regular basis. The first one is 'what's the book about?' I don't like that one. They expect a black-and-white answer. That said, I can usually BS my way through. (They need to have a BS-ing class in schools, because that's a very important life skill.)

The other one is worse. 'How do you write?' Or something very similar. I SHOULD go the mature route and say 'Why, I outline, do character bios, plan for six months, etc.' What actually comes out is the following:


Really, that could be me. Only with thumbs and...you know, human features. And no fur. I think it disappoints people. Maybe I should start to lie and give them the 'mature' answer above.

Link

As promised, The House on the Moor is free starting today! Here's the link:
http://www.amazon.com/House-Moor-Ravens-Curse-ebook/dp/B0091XZ4TO/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1373310318&sr=8-1&keywords=the+house+on+the+moor

Freebie!

Hey, guys.
The House on the Moor is going to be free on Amazon from July 8th to July 12th. I'll post a reminder and a link when it's time.
-Lalla

One More Month

Oh, man. One more month.
Well, technically a little over a month, but you get the idea.
I'm scared. It's always really unnerving to publish anything. It's like...it's like turning a paper in to a really strict, fail-if-you-wrote-the-next-GREAT-AMERICAN-NOVEL kind of teacher.
See you guys in August. Well, I'll probably blog again before August. So never mind. See you guys later.
-Lalla

Heat

Oh, my, it's July and
I think I might die!

Seriously, I'm starting to wonder.
Those of you who live in Arizona are well aware of the heat wave we've been getting. It's pretty hard to avoid, unless you live in a cave somewhere, like in that one Pendergast story. Those of you who live in other places, however...
Yeah. Going outside makes me feel like a hot dog on a grill. If it weren't for all the nasty happenings, I'd kill to be at Raven Manor right now. At least it's nice and cool. And kind of creepy...